what if..

You're heading for a divorce...

~How would you settle property, child custody, divorce costs?

     -If I was getting a divorce I would make sure I would have custody of the children and let their father see them every weekend and, I would try and get along with the father as best as I could just for the children. I would try and have their father agree that we sell the house and live in different houses but split the cost of the money we get out of the house being sold.

• Single mother

~How will you cope emotionally and financially?

     - If I was a single mother with children I would find a great paying job that would give me reasonable hours. If I couldn't find a job like that i would get the next best paying job I can find. I would buy an apartment that was cheap enough that I can pay the monthly bill. I would never neglect my children to work more hours I would spend all my extra time with them that i could. A conflict that could happen is not being able to get a job that will pay enough to support me and my children.

• Elderly parents need to move in with you.

~What conflicts and adjustments will arise?

      -If I had to have my mother or father move in with me and live for a long amount of time I would probably be very unhappy. I would have to buy more food to feed everyone in the house. My bills would go up a lot more from what they already would be. My family might get into a lot of disagreements and try and have people pick sides and than everyone would be mad.

• You just remarried.

~How will family discipline be handled? What name do you expect the children to call you? Where should you live? How should you divide physical space?

     -If I ever got remarried and the other spouse had children I would ask him or the ex wife/husband how they would handle their child if they did something that was not permitted for them to do. I would expect the children to call me by my own name until they were comfortable to call me mom or step-mom but if they are never comfortable with it that would be fine for me. I would ask all the children if they would like to move to a new house and if not I would talk to all the children about me moving in with the other spouse. If the house we lived in was limited on space I would pare up the children girl/girl boy/boy and as close to age as I could and hope for the best.